Shame On You @Amazon! Even if you did remove the book!

Tonight I sang my 22 month old baby girl her favorite story book ‘Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?’  She cuddled with me in her footsie pajamas and when I got to the part where I sing, “Mother, Mother what do you see,” my baby girl gave me a sweet smile like she always does when I get to this part and she nuzzled me.  My heart melted and all I could think was, “God bless my little girl and please don’t ever let anything bad happen to her.”   It’s so easy as a parent to pray and wish that nothing bad ever happens to our children, especially with all the craziness in this world.  We all know that when our children hurt, we hurt, and a mother’s worst nightmare is to know that her child was hurt by something or worse by someone.

For me the fear of my child getting hurt especially haunts me because when I was a child someone hurt me.  See around six years old I was molested by a man who was close to our family who we should have been able to trust, but obviously this was not the case.

Unfortunately during this time I was in need of a male figure in my life.  This damaging and life changing series of molestations took place after my mom and father divorced, but before my mom and step-dad (who I adore) met and married.  So being that my father was in New York, while my mom and I were relocated in California, I was the perfect target for a male Pedophile.  I was a little girl in need of a man’s attention and so this man gave me his attention, doted on me as if I was his little girl, and made me feel special.  That’s what Pedophile’s do, they “seduce” their targets by making them feel special, by making that particular child trust them, it’s all a very well thought out sick plan for them.

This is the reason why I am absolutely beside myself that would allow the sale of “The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure,” an electronic book written and published by Phillip R. Greaves.   I’m even more beside myself that Amazon decided to defend it’s decision to allow for the sale of this book, rather than apologize for it and remove it right away.

In an emailed statement Amazon said, “Amazon believes it is censorship not to sell certain books simply because we or others believe their message is objectionable.” Amazon then went on to say that “Amazon does not support or promote hatred or criminal acts, however, we do support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions.”

These pathetic statements Amazon made absolutely disgusted me to the core. Amazon you most certainly did support and promote hatred and criminal acts as you allowed this “author” to have a forum to sell and promote this product, this hideous book geared towards the victimization of innocent children since October!  SHAME ON YOU AMAZON.COM!!!!!

My question to you Amazon is that you say you support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions, but how come you didn’t support the right of every individual child to be protected?!!!!?  Every child has the right to be safe, but every child is not safe and having products or books that perpetuate the problems and disorders of society such as pedophilia does not promote the well being of children anywhere.  SHAME ON YOU AMAZON!!!!!

The author Greaves argues in “The Pedophile’s Guide” that pedophiles are misunderstood, as the word literally means to love a child.  The author also said that it is only a crime to act on sexual impulses toward children, and offers advice that purportedly allows pedophiles to abide by the law.

All I can say to that is give me an F’n Break! should have never allowed this book to be on their website!  And if they were unaware at first, then it should have been removed as soon as they were made aware of it.

I’m disappointed that they put out those ridiculous statements about censorship instead of apologizing and removing the book right away.  Even the child online-safety advocacy group Enough is Enough said that although they’re not surprised that someone would publish such a book, they said that Amazon should have removed it because selling the book lends the impression that child abuse is normal.

Unfortunately, this story gets much worse.  Even though Amazon has finally removed the book, since this story broke yesterday morning, sales of this self-published e-book went up by 101,000%!

So this is what I want to know now, why did we have to ask Amazon to remove this book in the first place?  Were they too dumb to not know that selling this book was wrong to begin with?  Once again SHAME ON YOU AMAZON!!!

When I look back on my childhood to those brief months that felt like a lifetime, when a grown man was touching me inappropriately and making me feel ashamed…I realize now as an adult woman how he robbed me of my innocence, of how he brought the world that I had seen before him, with such sunshine and light, into a place of confusion and darkness for me instead.  And yet I stand here today feeling like I was one of the lucky ones because the abuse did stop, because I was only touched and not raped.  However, I can’t help but wonder about those children who weren’t and aren’t so lucky?  What kind of “rights” did this book serve them?

I have a wonderful mom and a wonderful step-dad who I adore and they gave me a great life despite the fact that a man, not even a man, a monster, entered my life for a brief period of time and made an impression on it, in such a way that a child should never have to imagine.

And even to this day, I have carried the secret around.  I did tell my mom about it when I was 11 years old and of course she was devastated by it.  However, I made her promise not to tell my step-dad because I didn’t think he would be able to emotionally handle it…..And still, I’m not even sure if my mom ever told him or not.  At that time she said she wouldn’t tell him and so it is my belief that the secret was kept.

With all this, I did go to counseling though and I have opened up to my best friends about it  as well…And of course my husband knows about it too. Yet, this is the first time I have ever really gone public with it, but this Amazon story just made me want to come out with my story though.

I just feel that I’m a grown woman now and I shouldn’t have to feel like this is my dirty little secret to keep anymore, because it’s not mine to keep.  It’s that child molester’s dirty little secret to keep, he has ownership over the shame now, not me anymore.

Also I want Amazon to know, and I want everyone to know that roughly 33% of girls and 14% of boys are molested before the age of 18, according to the U.S. Justice Department. However, what’s scarier is that these statistics are only based on reported cases and unfortunately most cases of child molestation goes unreported.  It is estimated that only 35% of sexual abuse is reported.  Most children are just too scared, ashamed, and embarrassed to say anything.  I know I was.

Do me a favor, if you know me, don’t act weird around me after you read this because I’m still the same person.  Please just be aware that these atrocities towards children can happen to anyone, to the happiest, and most stable of homes.

On my website, I have a page called, ‘Mommy’s Hood’ where I refer moms to places where they can find deals on products.  Amazon is one of those places I often refer moms to.  I put out a statement yesterday that if Amazon did not remove this book from their website, then I would remove the products I have from them off of my site instead.  Well, Amazon has removed the book, but yet I still find myself feeling weird about referring moms to their site now.

At this point, I would like to ask Amazon if they can donate or create a program that is geared towards helping victims of child molestation.  I think that could help rectify the situation a bit.  Everyone let’s just remember that we need to start protecting the children and not the predators.

Phillip R. Greaves:  Seriously Who Is This Guy?

Phillip R. Greaves: Seriously Who Is This Guy?


  1. Nicholas Said:

    So, when is the book burning you nazi whore?

    • Nicholas I approve all comments that get on this blog to avoid spam, and guess what I approved yours! The fact that you call me a book burning nazi is comical to me, because I don’t believe in burning books, but I do believe that sometimes you have to stand for a greater cause and in this case that would be the protection of children. That author has the right to self-publish, and self distribute whatever he wants, but as a major company I believe that Amazon has a greater social responsibility it should worry about in this particular case, especially because it has to do with the protection of children. Now the fact that you called me a “whore” actually disturbs me Nicholas, because you don’t even know me and yet you are spewing such hatred at me like a nazi, in which you originally accused me of being. Are YOU a nazi misogynist Nicholas? I can assure you that as a faithful wife and mother that I am the furthest thing from a whore. In addition, as a person who loves the arts and creativity, I can assure you that I don’t go around looking for books to burn either. Free expression and creativity are important in this world. So now dear Nicholas if you have an intelligent argument to make today instead of just spewing hatred and stupidities towards me, then please feel free to leave further comments on this blog. However, if you are just here to insult and be thoughtless, then go do it on your own blog and say whatever you want about me there. However in the future, this won’t happen on my blog because it will be deleted and I won’t respond to it any further. So go write your own blog now and say whatever you want because that’s what’s awesome about the Freedom of Speech you moron.

      • Bob Totans Said:


        As the father of five and grandfather, I am fully supportive and sympathetic to your concerns.
        I’m also more fearful of the promoters, deniers and apologists who, under the guise of free speech, encourage and promote these loathsome acts.
        They truly are the perverted people.

      • Thank you Bob. It’s so great to get a man’s perspective on this issue. I appreciate your comments! Best wishes to you!

  2. Celina Said:

    I am so proud of my smart and beautiful friend for being a fighter to get this book removed … it was a lame excuse on Amazon’s part to stand behind this book at first. We as a Society HAVE TO protect children. You Rock!!

    • Thanks Celina for your support, it is very appreciated! XOXOXO

  3. Natalie Said:

    WOW! I hope people do not look at you wierd now too! and I hope you dont ever worry about the fool who called you a whore. My heart goes out to your 11 year old self and I wish you peace. Thanks for boldly sharing your story and thanks for standing up for our children!

    • Thanks Natalie! I don’t think people will look at me weird. I mean the same thing happened to Oprah as a child and nobody seems to look at her weird. I have a very happy life and I appreciate your support. Have a beautiful day! 🙂

      • Natalie Said:

        Yep! You’re awesome! All the best! :o)

  4. Lisa Said:

    It’s so easy to spew hatred from behind a computer screen. Good for you michelle for taking the high road.

    • Thank you Lisa! Some people are just unhappy I guess and they have to spread it through anger.

  5. Angela Said:

    Incredibly brave of you to share your story and as I’m thinking of playing with you as kids I can’t believe that you went through that. That book is disgusting and so is the ignorant comment from N. Some people can’t understand what it means to love your family and want to protect them! Ang

    • Thank you Angela. It was a brief time in my life as a child, and people need to understand that these things can happen to anyone. I appreciate your kind words, it means a lot to me. I hope all is going wonderful for you! xoxo

  6. Melissa Said:

    Good Job Michelle!! Thank you for standing up for this cause!

    • Hi Melissa! I appreciate your support and am glad you are behind this as well. 🙂

  7. Horte Said:

    Michelle, thank you so much; thank you for sharing your story with us and for standing up for our children. God bless you!

    • God bless you too! As a mom, I can’t imagine not wanting to stand up for children. The positive support has warmed my heart today!

  8. Whitney Said:


    Very brave of you to share your story. Thank you so much for standing up for all the children. And good for you taking the high road when some people, who just have too much time on their hands, decide to leave hateful comments. Have a wonderful weekend.

    • Thanks for the kind words Whitney. I’m actually very blessed and so it’s easy to not want to be so hateful in return. Have a wonderful weekend too!

  9. Raymond Smalley Said:

    You stood where so many have unfortunately and reprehensibly remained silent and you did so while exposing your past for the world to judge without fear of the judgment… So proud to call you a friend after reading this…

    • Raymond my friend, thank you so much! You actually sent me a very nice email awhile back that I wanted to respond to and then my website and webmail crashed, leaving me without a history of anything. Anyhow, I appreciate your supportive words, it is very kind of you. Have a fantastic night!

  10. Jill Said:

    Thanks for sharing MIchelle! I am also a lover of free speech, but completely agree that sometimes there is a greater cause at hand! Having six nieces, this kind of thing freaks me out.

    Thanks again and have a great weekend!

    • Jill thank you so much for the comment! I agree with you 100%! Have a wonderful weekend! xoxoxo

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