Archive for Michelle's Life

I Have A Swollen Lymph Node…..

OMG!   It’s the last day of February and I have not done a new blog entry at all this month and by the time I post this one it will already be March 1st!  I am so sorry to all of my readers.  I don’t want to make any excuses, life just threw me a strange curve ball this month and I fell a little off of my blogging A-Game, okay I fell completely off of my blogging A-Game and really it’s probably more of a B-Game to begin with anyway.

To make a long blog longer, this is what happened.  The beginning of February I was in Colorado with my family visiting my in-laws.  Then when we got back from Colorado to L.A, I discovered a lump on the right side of my neck, it was a swollen lymph node to be exact.

So of course this scared the living crap out of me so I spent days waiting for the swelling to go down, but I had absolutely no luck.  Therefore, I went to go see the doctor, but the doctor wasn’t there, so I saw a nurse practitioner instead, and she ran blood work on me.  My blood work came back great and I have no family history of Cancer, so I’m told to wait a week to see if the swelling goes down.

I spend the week drinking shots of apple cider vinegar, which is absolutely disgusting just so you all know, but it’s supposed to detox your body and bring down the swelling in your lymph nodes, but guess what I still had a swollen lymph node.  So my doctor orders me to go see a Radiologist to get an ultrasound.  At this point I’m thinking, “Oh my God, I have Lymphoma Cancer and I have a 2 year old daughter, why is this happening to me?”

I go and get my ultrasound and they send the results right away to my doctor.  I speak to  my doctor who says that the ultrasound is showing that there appears to be an infection and inflammation in the lymph nodes on the right side of my neck and that other lymph nodes on the right side of my neck are beginning to elevate as well, although we can’t see them or feel them yet.  I of course ask my doctor the most obvious question at this point which is, “So you’re telling me that this is not Cancer?”  The doctor responds to me by saying that only a biopsy can rule out Cancer 100%, but that the chances are very, very, very, slim that it is.

After getting this news I’m much more relieved, however, my doctor wants me to go see a surgeon about doing a possible biopsy, so I did.

The surgeon reviews my ultrasound and blood work, and goes over a series of health questions with me and then feels my neck for the swollen lymph node.

The surgeon then goes on to tell me that it’s not Lymphoma Cancer and explains all the reasons why it is not.  However, he orders a CT scan on me because he says it will tell him more than an ultrasound will and he is not fully convinced that I have an infection present.  He says it might just be inflammation and drainage.

He explains to me that a biopsy on a lymph node is evasive and that would mean I would need surgery and he doesn’t want to do surgery unless I actually do have an infection present and actually need it, and so my CT Scan is scheduled for later on today at 1:00pm.

So that is where I leave my story as of now, but thank God all signs point to it not being Cancer. However, as of today I still have a swollen lymph node.

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Shame On You @Amazon! Even if you did remove the book!

Tonight I sang my 22 month old baby girl her favorite story book ‘Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?’  She cuddled with me in her footsie pajamas and when I got to the part where I sing, “Mother, Mother what do you see,” my baby girl gave me a sweet smile like she always does when I get to this part and she nuzzled me.  My heart melted and all I could think was, “God bless my little girl and please don’t ever let anything bad happen to her.”   It’s so easy as a parent to pray and wish that nothing bad ever happens to our children, especially with all the craziness in this world.  We all know that when our children hurt, we hurt, and a mother’s worst nightmare is to know that her child was hurt by something or worse by someone.

For me the fear of my child getting hurt especially haunts me because when I was a child someone hurt me.  See around six years old I was molested by a man who was close to our family who we should have been able to trust, but obviously this was not the case.

Unfortunately during this time I was in need of a male figure in my life.  This damaging and life changing series of molestations took place after my mom and father divorced, but before my mom and step-dad (who I adore) met and married.  So being that my father was in New York, while my mom and I were relocated in California, I was the perfect target for a male Pedophile.  I was a little girl in need of a man’s attention and so this man gave me his attention, doted on me as if I was his little girl, and made me feel special.  That’s what Pedophile’s do, they “seduce” their targets by making them feel special, by making that particular child trust them, it’s all a very well thought out sick plan for them.

This is the reason why I am absolutely beside myself that Amazon.com would allow the sale of “The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure,” an electronic book written and published by Phillip R. Greaves.   I’m even more beside myself that Amazon decided to defend it’s decision to allow for the sale of this book, rather than apologize for it and remove it right away.

In an emailed statement Amazon said, “Amazon believes it is censorship not to sell certain books simply because we or others believe their message is objectionable.” Amazon then went on to say that “Amazon does not support or promote hatred or criminal acts, however, we do support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions.”

These pathetic statements Amazon made absolutely disgusted me to the core. Amazon you most certainly did support and promote hatred and criminal acts as you allowed this “author” to have a forum to sell and promote this product, this hideous book geared towards the victimization of innocent children since October!  SHAME ON YOU AMAZON.COM!!!!!

My question to you Amazon is that you say you support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions, but how come you didn’t support the right of every individual child to be protected?!!!!?  Every child has the right to be safe, but every child is not safe and having products or books that perpetuate the problems and disorders of society such as pedophilia does not promote the well being of children anywhere.  SHAME ON YOU AMAZON!!!!!

The author Greaves argues in “The Pedophile’s Guide” that pedophiles are misunderstood, as the word literally means to love a child.  The author also said that it is only a crime to act on sexual impulses toward children, and offers advice that purportedly allows pedophiles to abide by the law.

All I can say to that is give me an F’n Break!  Amazon.com should have never allowed this book to be on their website!  And if they were unaware at first, then it should have been removed as soon as they were made aware of it.

I’m disappointed that they put out those ridiculous statements about censorship instead of apologizing and removing the book right away.  Even the child online-safety advocacy group Enough is Enough said that although they’re not surprised that someone would publish such a book, they said that Amazon should have removed it because selling the book lends the impression that child abuse is normal.

Unfortunately, this story gets much worse.  Even though Amazon has finally removed the book, since this story broke yesterday morning, sales of this self-published e-book went up by 101,000%!

So this is what I want to know now, why did we have to ask Amazon to remove this book in the first place?  Were they too dumb to not know that selling this book was wrong to begin with?  Once again SHAME ON YOU AMAZON!!!

When I look back on my childhood to those brief months that felt like a lifetime, when a grown man was touching me inappropriately and making me feel ashamed…I realize now as an adult woman how he robbed me of my innocence, of how he brought the world that I had seen before him, with such sunshine and light, into a place of confusion and darkness for me instead.  And yet I stand here today feeling like I was one of the lucky ones because the abuse did stop, because I was only touched and not raped.  However, I can’t help but wonder about those children who weren’t and aren’t so lucky?  What kind of “rights” did this book serve them?

I have a wonderful mom and a wonderful step-dad who I adore and they gave me a great life despite the fact that a man, not even a man, a monster, entered my life for a brief period of time and made an impression on it, in such a way that a child should never have to imagine.

And even to this day, I have carried the secret around.  I did tell my mom about it when I was 11 years old and of course she was devastated by it.  However, I made her promise not to tell my step-dad because I didn’t think he would be able to emotionally handle it…..And still, I’m not even sure if my mom ever told him or not.  At that time she said she wouldn’t tell him and so it is my belief that the secret was kept.

With all this, I did go to counseling though and I have opened up to my best friends about it  as well…And of course my husband knows about it too. Yet, this is the first time I have ever really gone public with it, but this Amazon story just made me want to come out with my story though.

I just feel that I’m a grown woman now and I shouldn’t have to feel like this is my dirty little secret to keep anymore, because it’s not mine to keep.  It’s that child molester’s dirty little secret to keep, he has ownership over the shame now, not me anymore.

Also I want Amazon to know, and I want everyone to know that roughly 33% of girls and 14% of boys are molested before the age of 18, according to the U.S. Justice Department. However, what’s scarier is that these statistics are only based on reported cases and unfortunately most cases of child molestation goes unreported.  It is estimated that only 35% of sexual abuse is reported.  Most children are just too scared, ashamed, and embarrassed to say anything.  I know I was.

Do me a favor, if you know me, don’t act weird around me after you read this because I’m still the same person.  Please just be aware that these atrocities towards children can happen to anyone, to the happiest, and most stable of homes.

On my website http://www.mommyhoodtohollywood.com, I have a page called, ‘Mommy’s Hood’ where I refer moms to places where they can find deals on products.  Amazon is one of those places I often refer moms to.  I put out a statement yesterday that if Amazon did not remove this book from their website, then I would remove the products I have from them off of my site instead.  Well, Amazon has removed the book, but yet I still find myself feeling weird about referring moms to their site now.

At this point, I would like to ask Amazon if they can donate or create a program that is geared towards helping victims of child molestation.  I think that could help rectify the situation a bit.  Everyone let’s just remember that we need to start protecting the children and not the predators.

Phillip R. Greaves:  Seriously Who Is This Guy?

Phillip R. Greaves: Seriously Who Is This Guy?

The Birth of ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’….Michelle Shares Her Personal Quest

I have given birth again, but this time it didn’t hurt!  As many of you know I have been growing a little brand of mine called, ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood.’  Many of you have come out to support me by following me on Twitter, joining me on the ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ Facebook page, by visiting this blog, or by simply checking out my official website.  For doing those things, which take precious time out of your day, I really do thank every single one of you.

Several of you don’t really understand what I am doing too, but even with that I am still being supported by you.  That is so kind, so I want to explain to everyone my personal quest with ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood,’ what exactly it is that I am doing, and share my hopes and dreams for it with all of you.

For several years in my life I spent time as a singer/songwriter and performer.  I loved this passionately….you know the way a 23 year old loves their boyfriend or girlfriend passionately…it’s usually a clueless and blinding love, but yet you throw yourself into it wholeheartedly anyway.  Well that was me.  However, after years of performing, almost getting signed to major record labels, and then being absolutely disappointed by the biz, just like you get disappointed by that relationship in your 20’s, I decided to move on with my life.  So I broke up with the music business.  Now I still love music and singing, but I am just not as interested in being in the business of it anymore, that’s all.

Anyhow, I have always been interested in television, in reporting and TV Hosting specifically, and so although I already had a BA degree in English Education, I decided to go back to school to get another degree in Film and Television with my option being in Broadcast Journalism.  After I graduated, I got my first job in Denver as a Production Assistant at a sports network.  I hate sports.  Ha! Ha!  But I tried my best to like it while I was there.  However, I did manage to find the one entertainment/lifestyle TV show this network had and I assisted on it for awhile and then eventually got the opportunity to report on the show.  This was a great first reporting experience for me and it became even more great when I won an Emmy Award for it!  WAIT!  REWIND…

Before I won the Emmy two major things happened to me in my life: First the network canceled the show I won the Emmy for, and second, I found out I was pregnant.  OK!  FAST-FORWARD….

At the Emmy Awards I was almost 5 months pregnant and I had won the Emmy for ‘On-Air Talent Rookie of the Year.’  It was awesome.  My mom said that if I had a girl I should name her Emmy because she was my good luck charm during the Emmy Awards.  So I did end up having a girl, and yes she is my good luck charm, and no I did not name her Emmy.

When I had my baby girl I fell absolutely in love with her of course, and I really enjoy being a mom.  Yes being a mommy does have its challenges like anything else worthwhile doing in life, but you quickly learn how to deal with those challenges and for me it made me start looking at a lot of things in my life in a different perspective.

First off, I hated my job, especially since I was no longer getting the opportunity to do on-air work there, second I missed my family and friends in California, and third I missed California too.  I missed the entertainment world and to me that world was specifically in Southern California.  I knew I had to get back there as soon as I could, so when my daughter was 8 months old we moved back.

Since I’ve been back in Cali I’ve been a stay-at-home mom.  It seemed to make the most sense for our family, but it was always meant to be a temporary situation.  It’s been a blessing to be at home with my little one, but just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean my passion for entertainment or my dream of continuing a career on television has died.  Therefore, I was itching to get back into it again.  I also had this nagging feeling to write again, to be creative.  I used to always keep a journal and  write songs, so I was racking my brain about possibly writing a book or creating a blog, but about what?

In March of 2010, I decided to take Marki Costello’s ‘Become A Host’ bootcamp.   I had no idea of what to expect from it, but I was ready for it though…..or so I thought. For those of you who don’t know who Marki Costello is, she is the granddaughter to the comedy legend Lou Costello of AbbottCostello. However, besides that interesting fact,  Marki is also one of the leading casting directors in the television industry, as well as considered to be one of the top talent managers for TV Hosts as well.  In addition she runs this TV Host Academy, ‘Become A Host.’   The weekend bootcamp that I participated in was jam packed with TV Hosting exercises and I was so out of practice that in my opinion I sucked, BIG TIME!

Also, Marki pushed the importance of finding your brand and I was unsure of what my brand was.  I knew I loved entertainment/lifestyle television, but that was too broad and too common, so basically I was clueless. Then at the end of the weekend I kept thinking, “I’m a mommy who loves entertainment and celebrity/pop culture” and then the phrase ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ kept running through my mind.

Finally, the last day of bootcamp, Marki said she wanted us to write a 30 second show open that demonstrated our brand and then she wanted us to perform it in front of her.  This would be the audition to see if we would be invited by Marki to join her host academy.

Since I felt that I had sucked so bad during that weekend, all I wanted was just to do well in front of Marki and trust me when I say that she can seem quite intimidating when you first get to know her.  She is definitely a force to be reckoned with, but in a good way.  So I went in and performed my brand “Style Trial.”   Uh……WTF?  Yes, that’s what I came up with, I fully dropped my ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ idea and did something that was so NOT ME!  Okay, I went in and did my show open and I did pretty well and I was happy with my performance and yes I got invited into the program, but I was invited into the beginners class.  I didn’t care though, I was just relieved that I had gotten in, however, I knew ‘Style Trial’ was not my brand and you know what, I’m sure Marki knew that wasn’t my brand either.

During my first month of class ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ was still nagging me in my mind.  I talked about it with my husband Mark, but at first he didn’t seem to understand the concept.  He had a concern that I was at the risk of becoming an annoying TV Host who always talked about her kids.  He referenced the early days of Kathy Lee Gifford on Regis and Kathy Lee.  I didn’t really agree with him about his concern or about Kathy Lee!

Anyhow about 2 weeks passed after the conversation with the hubs and I attended my  first industry night.  This is a night where students have the opportunity to perform and leave their press kits with a big industry professional. Then that industry professional stays and chats with us afterwards about the business. That night a casting director Tara Flanagan was our guest.  She said that one of the performers that stood out most to her that evening was a mom (I did not perform, I just went to watch that night).  She then went on to say that there was a huge demographic in television for moms.  That’s when the light bulb went off in my head.  Ding! Ding! Ding!  Yes I heard a bell too. I thought to myself, “Why in the world have I been denying my ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ idea?”  The importance of a brand is that it is true to who you are.  A brand must be the authentic “You.”  I am a mommy! ….And not only am I a mommy, but I’m a mommy who has been a part of the entertainment industry for many years and is passionate about entertainment and celebrity/pop culture.  Thus, ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ made total sense for me.  So then it was on this night that ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ was born.

I wish Tara Flanagan knew how she changed my life that night.  I hope one day I’ll be able to tell her.

That night when I was driving home from industry night my blood was pumping with excitement and I could not wait to get home and talk to my hubby.  I had all these ideas running through my head of what I wanted to do.  I knew I wanted to dish about celebrities, but then I also knew that I wanted to get inside the lives of celebrity moms and their babies.

Then eventually the idea grew even bigger.  Look I am not a celebrity mom or anything, but I always want to try and give my daughter the best of everything the best way I can, like most moms do.  Therefore, the idea of giving your child the A-List life without paying those A-List prices seem to become a wonderful and practical philosophy I wanted to share with all moms, especially in today’s challenging economy.

Before I knew it I was blogging, tweeting, and developing my ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ website…..And it keeps growing!  I’m in the process of developing a ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ webisode and I’m developing a mommy resource page too!  It’s become such an exciting thing!

My hope someday is to have a TV show called, ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ so that I can reach moms by the millions!

As a quick side note, I have to say that Marki Costello knows her shit!  I have grown in so many ways as a host and as a business woman since joining ‘Become A Host.’

I also have to give my hubby Mark props too.  He has ended up loving the idea of ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ and has been in full support of it.  He even did the website for me.  I gave him all my ideas and he helped me bring them into fruition.

Some wonderful friends have helped me also, like my pal Craig K., thanks Craig!  I know all of you out there don’t know Craig, but trust me when I say he’s a great person to know.

Okay, done with the shout outs…..So there you have it my new baby ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ in a big nutshell.  Now my hope is that you will all join me on this new journey that I am on and continue to watch my baby business grow.

Recently I auditioned to be in an industry showcase and I made it in.  So now in about 2 weeks I will have the chance to present myself as a TV Host and also to present my brand to a bunch of television agents, casting directors and TV network executives.  It’s a very exciting and scary event all at once.  Maybe something great will come out of it or maybe nothing at all.  No matter what happens I will continue to nourish my baby ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood’ and I hope you will all continue along with me through this interesting, unknown road that I am running and sometimes tripping on.

So with all this I will leave you with some shameless plugs so that you can join me on ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood.’  The first one is to please subscribe to this blog, it’s free or I wouldn’t ask-lol!  The next is to follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/MichelleRivera5.  The last thing is to please join my ‘Mommyhood to Hollywood Facebook page at http://bit.ly/ckxelb.

Thank you so much again everyone.  I send you all love and positivity always!

 

Michelle Rivera is Mommyhood to Hollywood

Michelle Rivera is Mommyhood to Hollywood

 

 

Marki Costello of CMEG and 'Become A Host'

Marki Costello of CMEG and 'Become A Host'

 

Marki Costelli Audition Tips:

Michelle Rivera’s TV Hosting Reel:  

A Bedtime Story: Mel Gibson…A Cautionary Tale

Hello Friends!  Thank you for visiting again and I must apologize for it taking me a whole month to get around to writing a new blog!  Hopefully, you linked into this blog entry through my relaunched website http://www.michellerivera.net, a.k.a. ‘Mommyhood To Hollywood!’  If you haven’t seen the site yet, then please stop by and check it out.

Things have been crazy busy in my life, hence this delayed blog entry.  During this last month I shot a new hosting reel, relaunched my website, continued my hosting classes, and started preparing for a TV Hosting Industry Showcase audition that will be coming up next week. On top of all that I managed to squeeze in a trip to Seattle, plan my niece’s 13th birthday party, and I started a parent-toddler pre-school program with my 18 month old daughter….woah I’m exhausted just thinking about it all.  But I’m back now and I hope you forgive me for the neglect, especially since something very big happened to my blog while I was away.

Turns out that during all this activity that was going on in my life, there was also major activity going on in my blog as well, as it received about 1100 hits this month, which I was completely unaware of!  I started my blog in April of 2010 and I remember that when I got 30 hits in one month that made me ecstatic and so my little blog is starting to be discovered by readers and I have all of you to thank for that!  So THANK YOU from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head!  xoxoxox. Now I promised you a bedtime story and so here I go……..

Once upon a time in a far away land came a dashing talented American.

Yet he grew up in Australia and became their chosen one, of course I’m talking about the actor/director Mel Gibson.

He rose to stardom with films like Mad Max and he was all the buzz and that was a fact.

He won prestigious awards for ‘Tim’ and ‘Gallipoli.’  He had talent, good looks, and charisma…Holy Moly!

Then came Lethal Weapon a big hit in the 80’s and if he really wanted he could have had all the ladies.

However, not this star cause he was a good Christian man, and so he took a wife, Robyn Moore and instead had seven children.

He continued into the 90s with his career on top, acting and directing, he couldn’t be stopped!

Critical praise for ‘Hamlet’, but this was only the start because then he won two Oscars for his phenomenal film ‘Braveheart.’

He had many box office hits like ‘The Patriot’ and ‘Ransom’ and women continued to swoon because he was so darn handsome.

You couldn’t help but love him in ‘What Women Want,’ yes Mel had it all, he had plenty to flaunt.

Then in 2004 things started to change, controversy started to follow the Mel Gibson name.

It all began with a film he directed, produced, and wrote, ‘The Passion of the Christ’ was definitely not a small career note.

It was praised by the Catholics as being a great Christian Muse, but it was ridiculed for being anti-semitic by the Jews.

Then in 2006 Mel was hit with a blow when he was arrested for drunk driving, but that was not the lowest of the low.

The low point came when he started to engage in an anti-semitic rage with the arresting officer that day.

Unfortunately, this began the bottom spiral to the end, of our formerly loved and now hated Mel Gibson.

Alcoholism was what he said was to blame and so Mel checked into rehab, but still things were never the same.

As a matter of fact things went from bad to much worse and suddenly Mel Gibson seemed to be cursed.

A porn star affair became a huge scandal and then an affair with a Russian singer became too much for his wife to handle.

In 2009 Mel’s 30 year marriage came to an end and soon after that Mel Gibson became a dad again.

Guess the rumors were true about that Russian singer Oksana, because she became Mel Gibson’s new Baby Mama!

At first they claimed many things such as happiness and love, especially when they welcomed their baby girl from above.

But what seemed to feel like only an hour , we all witnessed the relationship go quickly sour.

As a result the couple decided to split, then came the custody battle, restraining orders, and accusations that Mel hit.

Mel cried “Extortionist!”  While Oksana claimed, “drunken abuser!”  However, public opinion seems to be that they are both kind of losers.

Then came the icing on the already messy cake, Radar Online released some embarrassing Mel tapes.

Mel Gibson appeared to be out of control, slowly burying his career into a deep, deep hole.

The tapes were filled with rage and racist remarks, so much hate in his voice created a spark….through the media and press, which couldn’t believe this display,     of abusive rants, putting everyone in dismay.

So Mel Gibson’s life is now a big PR Mess and everyday his career appears to be more under distress.

Many people wonder if his career can be saved, but honestly Mel you’ve gone too insane.

And who cares about his career when there is a baby stuck in the middle of these ridiculous people in this ridiculous riddle.

So boys and girls let this be a lesson for your life, don’t take up the booze, gold-diggers, and trade in your wife.

Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson

Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior

Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior

Mel Gibson with Former Wife of 30 years Robin!

Mel Gibson with Former Wife of 30 years Robin!

Mel In Some Younger Days

Braveheart

Braveheart

BraveHeart Movie Poster

BraveHeart Movie Poster

What Women Want

What Women Want

Mel Directing 'Passion of the Christ'

Mel Directing 'Passion of the Christ'

Mel Gibson's in People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People

Mel Gibson's in People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful People

DUI Arrest

DUI Arrest

Mel Gibson and Oksana

Mel Gibson and Oksana

What the Mel?

What the Mel?

‘Sex and The City’ 2: How It Relates to My Life and Yours’, Why I Think The Critics Are Wrong, And Why We All Need “The Sparkle!”

Sex and the City 2

Sex and the City 2

Hanging With The Girls

Hanging With The Girls

A Night In With Mr. Big

A Night In With Mr. Big

Charlotte with daughter Lily

Charlotte with daughter Lily

Charlotte with baby Rose

Charlotte with baby Rose

(Blog Author) Michelle In Italy

(Blog Author) Michelle In Italy

Michelle Gets Married!

Michelle Gets Married!

Michelle At Her Wedding Sweetheart Table

Michelle At Her Wedding Sweetheart Table

Michelle Pregnant and Ready To Pop! With Her Pup Monty!

Michelle Pregnant and Ready To Pop! With Her Pup Monty!

My Baby Girl And I Last October At The Pumpkin Patch!

My Baby Girl And I Last October At The Pumpkin Patch!

Author of Blog Michelle Rivera

Author of Blog Michelle Rivera

So last weekend I went to the movies to see ‘Sex and the City’ 2 with three of my girl friends (of course there had to be four of us)!  As I was getting ready for the ‘Girls Night Out’ evening I was actually thinking, “Wow, I haven’t done a girls night out in a long time.”  Being a wife and a current stay-at-home mommy of a 17 month old, outings like this don’t occur often, probably because I’m usually too tired. Now, although I was thinking about my long over-due ‘Girls Night Out,’ I also had something else on my mind too.  I was thinking about my role as a wife, my marriage, and my new identity as a mommy (okay, I guess 17 months of being a mommy isn’t that new anymore).

Now I adore and love my husband of almost 3 years, and with whom I have been with for almost 6 years, but I had something really bugging me that night and no it wasn’t my husband himself. It was the feeling of the monotony of daily life that was bugging me that night.  See, I’m the kind of girl who always has a million things on my mind and a million more that I want to do or accomplish.  I will literally stay up until 1:00 am figuring out my life in my head and what my next move will be.  You would think with a 17 month old I would cherish sleep more…nah, it’s like that old saying, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I feel very blessed in my life, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not afraid of getting into a rut or that I don’t get bored with my day-to-day routine sometimes. Anyone would be lying if they didn’t admit to feeling this once in a while, especially if you’re married with children.  Some of you may be saying to yourself, “Michelle, I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m 100% satisfied with my life and couldn’t be more content.”  To those people, I say “Liars!” And really if you’re 100% content with your life, then my next question to you would be, “What else is there to look forward to then when you have nothing left to strive for in all of your content?”

Looking back, I remember a time when I was in a club every night, Thursday through Sunday. I was either partying at it, singing in it, or cocktail waitressing. That was my life in my 20’s, that and school.   Then I grew up; I graduated college and eventually I got married.  But guess what?  I thought I grew up when all this happened, but I didn’t really, it was when I had my baby, that’s when I truly grew up.

Having a baby changes your world completely.  My daughter is my world and my life revolves around her 200%.  Everything I do is based on her needs, her schedule, and her happiness and safety….and you know what, I wouldn’t have it any other way. She is my number 1 priority.  However, I’m still a young woman who wears many hats, not just the mommy one, and so it becomes a fine balancing act between my daughter’s needs and my own.

I used to be the woman who couldn’t go to the mailbox without my make-up on. Now I’m the mommy at the park with my hair in a ponytail, with no make-up and in my gym clothes.  Why is this?  Because my daughter doesn’t care what I look like, all she cares about is getting in our daily stroll to the park.

So now my days are filled with playing, preparing meals, cleaning messes, singing songs, dealing with temper tantrums, diaper changes, Gymboree, strolls to the park, reading stories, and of course lots of hugs, snuggles, and kisses.

Mommyhood has most definitely been the most challenging and rewarding role of my life……..but sometimes……dare I say it………..Here I go…..”I need more.”  By the way, I literally felt guilty when I just typed out those three words, but when you become a mother you quickly learn that feeling guilty about things comes with the territory.

I try to keep up the glamour, at least when I’m out for the most part, I do it for my own sanity and for my own self-esteem, but I would be lying if I didn’t say that there are literally days when I do not get out of my sweat pants and I do not do my hair, or put on any make-up for that matter.   That’s when I think to myself…”My poor husband, the least I could do is go get some hot velour suit to wear around the house,” you know, like the ones that the Real Housewives of Orange County wear.

Now my husband and I do attempt to do date nights once a week and I absolutely love it, especially if it involves sushi, but even our date nights are different now as we find ourselves in the role of parents.  We are not out all hours of the night, and we can’t go out any night we want either like when it was just us, and nights out sometimes require careful planning as well.  That just comes with the territory of parenthood.  So as you can see, it is easy to get caught up in the  monotony of daily life for the both of us.

If you have already seen ‘Sex and the City’ 2 then you will know where I’m going with all this.  Without being a spoiler, I’ll just fill you in a bit.  Carrie finds herself now married to “Mr. Big” for 2 years and now that they are settled into their relationship she feels that their daily life is getting a little mundane, you know their getting caught up in a monotonous daily routine, like most married couples do after a couple of years.  Charlotte finds herself getting overwhelmed with the demands of motherhood, Miranda is having problems at work, and Samantha….well….she’s just busy being her usual slutty and fabulous self.  Now every woman who is a fan of the ‘Sex and the City’ series finds herself relating to at least one of the characters. In my case I would say that I’m smack dab in the middle of Carrie and Charlotte.  I’m the wife of 2 years trying to break the routine, and I’m the woman trying to be Super-Mommy, who often questions herself.

If you have read some of the reviews for ‘Sex and the City’ 2 it has been accused of not having a story line, I say bullshit to that!  It’s my story line, and every other married couple, and/or parent out there trying to balance it all and trying to break out of the monotony.  And I hate to say this, but I think the people who are giving this movie poor reviews, fall under the category of the single, straight man who can not relate to women or walk in their Manolo Blahniks on any level.

If you’re a married woman and/or a mother you will enjoy this movie and understand the story line completely.  If you are a gay man you will enjoy it as well. If you’re a straight married man, especially if you have kids, then maybe you won’t love the movie, but I think you will definitely appreciate it.  If you’re a single woman and a big fan of the show then I think you will like it as well.  This movie has heart, but it is still a lot of fun.

In the film, both Carrie and Charlotte in particular, seem to be trying to reconnect with their individual selves.  They are facing their wants, their needs, their fears, and their fantasies and realities.  It really is a quest that they are on, that in my opinion anyone can relate to.  In all this they try to figure out how their new roles in their lives fit in with the women they once were and how they can bring back “The Sparkle” as Carrie calls it.  Carrie specifically says that her and Big need to work on “The Sparkle,” in their daily lives, and don’t we all?

Life without sparkle, well it’s just boring.  However, in the midst of jobs, family life, bills, and just the everyday set-backs of life in general, bringing back “The Sparkle” within yourself, within your relationships, and just within your life can be a difficult task.  It is something that we all need to work on.  However, I’m up for the challenge. I’ve never considered myself the typical woman.  I like “The Sparkle,” as a matter of fact I need it, and it is my belief that we all do.  So I challenge you to ask yourself, when was the last time you felt “The Sparkle” in your life?

'Sex and the City' 2...Looking back.....

'Sex and the City' 2...Looking back.....

Part 1: My Celebrity Tweets and Tweeps!

Catt Sadler from E! Entertainment's 'Daily 10'

Hey everybody!  I have to start by telling all of you how amazing you are for supporting my blog, thank you so much from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head!  Seriously, with every blog I have written has come more and more readers, so much love to you all for continuing to come back, for subscribing, and for spreading the word.  Alright, now that I’m done kissing all of your asses let’s get going with this thing.

So quick update, I did NOT get kicked off of Twitter, even though the mighty ‘Pretty Wild’ Twitter Fan Club leader tried to encourage her followers to “Spam and Report Me,” for having one simple opinion about that dumb show, that the leader obviously did not agree with.  Well she or he did not succeed in their evil plan.  Ha! Ha! Ha! I guess it is a free country after all!  Anyhow, you can still happily find me at http://twitter.com/MichelleRivera5 (another shameless plug for my Twitter page, now c’mon and follow me already!)

Now speaking of Twitter, it appears that not everyone hates me there after all, as I’ve had some interesting happenings over the last week or so.  For instance, as you all know I am an avid E! Entertainment television network viewer, I love that channel. Oh and BTW, Happy 20th Anniversary E!   Anyhow, I really enjoy their entertainment news show ‘The Daily 10’ and I especially enjoy watching their co-host Catt Sadler.  Now Catt just seems to be a cool chick and she’s a mommy just like me and so I feel like she’s a personality that I can relate to.  Anyhow, I threw a shout out to her on Twitter, basically saying that I used to be an Entertainment Reporter and that I was now studying television hosting at Marki Costello’s ‘Become A Host’ program.  I told Catt that I thought she was one of the best on-air talents and that I hoped to work with her someday.  Well, to my pleasant surprise, Catt responded to me by tweeting the following, “@MichelleRivera5 That is the lovliest compliment …. Keep workin hard. It will pay off!”  Well, I just thought that was so nice of her and wonderful that she could be such a successful person and still be so down to Earth! Kudos to Catt and thanks again girl for your supportive words!  You’re one classy woman.

Now speaking of classy ladies, Heidi Montag (now don’t laugh) has for some reason decided to follow me on Twitter (probably to get more followers) and yes it is her official Twitter page that is following me and not some poser or fan Twitter page.  Now I thought this was an interesting turn of Twitter events because I had already planned to make Heidi the main subject of this week’s blog even before she started following me on Twitter (and yes, I decided to follow her back as well). However, I was now in a dilemma because although I don’t dislike Heidi, I do have “concerns”  I’d like to take up with her and now that she is following me on Twitter, which links up to my blog, I now run the risk of her actually reading this blog and possibly taking offense to what I have to say.  Therefore, I almost decided not to talk about Heidi, but then I realized that would be compromising my blog and I figured if I lose her as a follower, well that’s okay because at least I was true to myself and to my readers.

Also, Heidi Montag is constantly in the media and unfortunately for her it’s usually not in a positive light, so I’m sure she has bigger fish to fry than my little sardine of a blog…….So tomorrow, I’ll serve you the dish on Heidi Montag with my opinions on the side, of course!  And sorry to leave you hangin, but come back tomorrow!  🙂

Heidi Montag of MTV's 'The Hills'

Heidi Montag of MTV's 'The Hills'

I Was Mentioned As A ‘Pretty Wild’ “Hater” on Twitter!

TMZ Video of Alexis Neiers in Court, Pleads \”No Contest.\”

Alexis Neiers Confesses

Bling Ring Mug Shots

“So about 6 weeks ago I opened up a Twitter account (http://twitter.com/MichelleRivera5).  Don’t tell me you wouldn’t plug your Twitter page either, lol.  Anyhow, if you follow me on Twitter then you will see that I mostly tweet about Entertainment News and Celebrity/Pop culture content.  I of course also throw in personal tweets from time to time.

Anyhow, if you don’t know this already and this is related to my story, Alexis Neiers from E! Entertainment’s reality TV show ‘Pretty Wild’ admitted to being in Orlando Bloom’s home during his home robbery.  In doing this, she cut a deal to only get 6 months in jail with a felony charge, 3 years probation, and of course fines.  If Alexis had gone to trial she would have risked getting a 6 year prison sentence instead.

According to court documents, the property stolen from Orlando Bloom’s home included  5 Rolex watches worth $450,000 total, a $20,000 ring, two paintings worth $25,000 total and $4,000 in cash. Overall, Alexis was accused of stealing about $600,000 worth of valuables from Bloom.

Orlando Bloom was supposedly going to testify in court and since Alexis knew she was guilty (c’mon girl you know in your heart the truth), and would most likely be found guilty for the crime, she gave a confession to the cops and opted for this deal instead.  She is due to surrender by June 24th.

Well now, when the story broke on Alexis, I of course tweeted about it, especially considering that I recently did a blog on ‘Pretty Wild’ about 2 weeks ago.  Now just like in my blog, I wondered why this show exists to begin with, but what I wondered even more about was why these girls, particularly Alexis Neiers have fans? So I tweeted about this that morning, and mentioned a Pretty Wild Twitter fan page in my tweet as an example of these fans.  I will not use the real name of the fan page in this blog, but this is what my tweet said, ” I don’t understand how there are fans like @PWfanGroup for @prettywild1 ? Guess felony criminals even have fans?”  Then I included a link in my tweet to the news story about Alexis’ confession.  After this tweet, I didn’t even think about it the rest of the day and had already moved on to other tweets too.

However, by 8pm that night the ‘Pretty Wild’ Twitter fan page ended up replying to my tweet and they were not pleased.  Basically, whoever runs the page called to the fans who follow it (all 300 or so of them) to block and spam me because I had made a negative comment about their sacred ‘Pretty Wild’ and had the nerve apparently to use them as an example.  Then this fan page also proceeded to reply to me by tweeting the following, “@MichelleRivera5 don’t mention my name 4 your stupid negative comments got it hater?”

Honestly, I thought this whole thing was comical, because I could care less if someone mentions me on Twitter, especially if I was running a fan page on Twitter, I would almost expect to be mentioned sometimes in regards to whatever fan base I was trying to represent.  It kinda goes with the territory.

I also thought it was funny that they called me a “Hater,” so gangsta don’t you think? Now did I ask for this because I mentioned this fan page as an example in my tweet? Yeah, I guess I did ask for it, but it didn’t bother me and I wasn’t offended because when you create content and any type of dialog, especially in the form of New Media, then you have to expect opinions of all sorts.  That’s what happens when you put it out there.

Now this is where my husband Mark would say, “Just leave it alone now.”  That’s not my style though.  The juvenile side of me had to reply back to them-lol.  However, the adult side of me did come to the realization that the person who runs this P.W. Twitter fan page could very well be a teenage kid.  So with that in mind, I replied as follows: “@PWfanGroup I think ur passion is admirable & looking for PW fans to get on my blog & defend PW. Ur invited.”  Then I included my blog link for them.  I wasn’t about to reply back in any type of rude or vulgar way…sorry if I disappointed any of you, but I don’t believe in Cyber bullying (not cool and not safe).

So incase you are wondering, I truly did mean this when I tweeted that I admired them.  I do admire the fact that they are so committed, loyal, and passionate about their ‘Pretty Wild’ Cause, and so I would love for them to get on this blog and comment to why they think ‘Pretty Wild’ is so worthwhile.   Like I said in my last blog, maybe there is something that I and so many others just don’t see, who knows…stranger things have happened.

In addition, I’m not a “Hater.”   “Hate” is such a strong word, don’t you think?  I’m more like a “Disliker,” I dislike the message that the show ‘Pretty Wild’ sends, especially to kids.  In my opinion it sends a bad message and I won’t get into that message again because I already put that in my last blog, so if you haven’t read my reasons behind my dislike, then please check my blog archives.

Also, I don’t claim to be some Mother Teresa who doesn’t have her own guilty pleasure reality TV shows that she loves.  If you knew how many times my husband asked me, “Why do you watch this stupid show (referring to ‘Tori and Dean’), then you would be just as annoyed as I am, when he asks.  Ha! Ha! Sweetie, you’re such a “Hater.”

Also, if you are concerned that I am going to be kicked off of Twitter, please don’t fret.  Twitter investigates reports before doing anything about them.  I don’t foresee one tweet getting me kicked off, even if 300 people were to follow the leader’s request to Spam and Block me.  I obviously have not mentioned, talked, followed, or spammed any of those people and therefore them reporting me to Twitter would look kind of absurd on their part and Twitter would see this in their investigation.

As a matter of fact one of the followers of this ‘Pretty Wild’ Twitter fan page called them out on this request to report me, because she checked what I tweeted and then said, “You can’t ask people to report someone as Spam because they have their own opinion.”  Apparently they got into this big Twitter argument about it and the follower of this ‘Pretty Wild’ fan group ended up Un-Following them.   WTF? As Steve Urkel would say, “Did I do that?”

I now truly understand what the phrase “Twitter War” means.

Now if by chance I get kicked off of Twitter, it’s okay, I just started on Twitter and I’ll just open up another account. I’m sure I can build my whole 32 followers all over again-ha! ha!

If the ‘Pretty Wild’ fan group decides to accept my invitation and leave a comment in regards to why they think this show has redeemable qualities, then I will make sure to let you all know, so that you can check it out…..And we will all behave like good boys and girls and be respectful to their opinions, won’t we?  Of course we will!

Now I promise my next blog WILL NOT be about ‘Pretty Wild.’  This is not a blog site about them, but I just had to share this story, that’s all.

Oh…and thanks for taking the time to read this post, I appreciate it.  I hope you’ll subscribe to my blog, it’s free, because otherwise it wouldn’t be worth it (hey… I’m honest).

Did I do that?

Did I do that?

I’m Convinced, Satan Runs Hollywood!

Today (which will be yesterday, by the time you all read this) was a hard day.  It was just one of those days in life when you wake up thinking you are two steps ahead, only to have something happen that makes you feel like you’ve just fallen five steps behind. We’ve all had those days.

Now the “something that happened” that made me feel this way today is not even a big deal, or even worth writing in detail about specifically, it’s just something that makes the career path that I’ve been trying to follow a little bit more challenging, that’s all….and considering the entertainment business is already extremely challenging as it is, who really needs another obstacle, right?

I have often thought, and I swear by this, that “Satan” or ‘The Devil” or whatever you want to call it runs Hollywood and I do not mean this metaphorically either.  I’m actually laughing right now as I type this because I mean this in the most literal sense there is.

I am a believer in God and therefore I think the opposite of Him exists as well, and I have often contemplated for many years that “he,” as in Satan or The Devil, lives on the corner of Hollywood and Vine….or perhaps up in the Hollywood Hills with Heidi and Spencer, or maybe even sitting up on the Hollywood sign itself, pulling the industry’s puppet strings and laughing at all of us as we watch Kate Gosselin snag another TV deal just because she had eight kids, now talk about twist of fate (I meant ‘Twist of Kate’, the title of her new summer show coming up on TLC).

Anyway, it’s just that in most of my experience within this business starting way back to when I was recording music and “almost” getting signed to record labels, it always seemed to me that the shady people would prevail, while the good people constantly got screwed over.

There appears to be no moral value system here in Hollywood.  It’s a place where porn stars can be mainstream actors, reality TV stars, television executives, and/or rock star vixens. “Whoa! How judgemental of you Michelle to say this!”  Trust me I don’t care if a pornstar can break into mainstream Hollywood, that’s not my main point here…more power to them!  And no I don’t hate porn stars, some of my closest friends are porn stars!  Okay not really, but I still don’t hate them.

However, it does piss me off to see talented, well educated and/or hardworking, aspiring writers, directors, actors, comics, singer-songwriters, or whoever not be able to break into this fickle industry because they didn’t sleep with somebody, or because they’re not a rich social-lite who leaked a sex tape, or they weren’t born into the right Hollywood family because we all know nepotism runs rampant in this industry. That’s what really pisses me off!  Those talented, well educated and/or hardworking, aspiring writers, directors, actors, comics, singer-songwriter people are always considered, “The Few,” or “The Lucky Ones” if they make it in this industry.

Why is it in today’s society  we love to celebrate mediocrity, but not talent?  It’s now become a place where the Snookis and The Octomoms of the world are celebrities…Is this because as a society we feel that badly about our own lives, that we have to relish in the train wreck of other people’s lives?  Is that ‘The Situation,’ so to speak?

Don’t get me wrong, I love reality television and I watch a lot of shows that would be considered “a guilty pleasure,” so yeah maybe I’m a hypocrite.  However, I would like to see a lot more quality programming get on the air as well, along with some new quality talent too!

Maybe I’m just feeling sorry for all the people that I know who are so freakin talented and so freakin driven, that it’s just plain stupid that they have not been able to break into this industry.

Maybe I’m just feeling sorry for myself today, that I have a degree in Broadcast Journalism, that I have Interned at news stations and major studios, that I have won a Regional Emmy Award for on-air work, and that I have worked my ass off and paid my dues for years trying to have a successful career in this industry and still I find myself competing in this Hollywood race with the girl who has the sex tape with the NBA player that leaked on the Internet.  Maybe I’m just jealous that I was raised with a conscience and I can’t bring myself to do such a thing to make it in this industry.

So yes I’ll still talk, blog, and tweet about the Hollywood dish because that’s what I’m passionate about, so does that make me hypocrite, maybe or maybe not? Perhaps I contribute to the devil’s plan without even knowing it.   After all the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

….And what does this all have to do with that “something that happened” that made me have a hard day?….Frankly, I’m not really sure…..maybe I just needed to vent.

Billy Kemp’s Shocking Advice To Me….

Well Monday night was my first on-going class with Marki Costello’s ‘Become A Host’ program and I loved it.  Billy Kemp who is the V.P of Casting for Fremantle Media which is responsible for shows like ‘American Idol’ and ‘America’s Got Talent’ was our teacher that night.

Billy Kemp is amazing as a teacher.  He has a friendly and approachable way about him, but at the same time he is bluntly honest.  This is good though, because that’s the only way we’ll get better and his honesty is constructive, not destructive, if that makes any sense.

Billy did manage to shock me though with my first copy read of the night.  In my first read he said that he felt I was holding back a bit.  I told him I was holding back because I had noticed, and this is kinda funny, but I told him that I had noticed in the past that my eyebrows have a tendency of moving up and down a lot on camera. Therefore this was on my mind during the read.

He said everyone has “ticks” like this and he asked me to not sensor myself because it was causing me to not connect with the audience and was coming off as me not being warm, but instead too serious.  This is not what shocked me though, of course.

Billy asked me to do the read again, but this time to just be myself and to not worry about anything else, like my eyebrows for instance, so that’s what I did.

I read the copy again, and when I was finished Billy said it was much better, but he did have a piece of advice for me and this is what he said, “When you do a read be careful not to f**k the camera.”

I think my face said it all when he said this to me. How could this good Catholic girl be F-ing the camera?  What in the world does this mean? I wasn’t offended at all though, just mostly perplexed, after the brief shock subsided.

He then further explained in different words.  He went on to say that women could get away with flirting with the camera, but that men can never do this, however, he said women have to be careful about how much they flirt with the camera, so there has to be a balance.  Apparently something in my read must have been too flirtatious, which is hysterical to me because the copy was about the product AT&T U-Verse!

Now I trust Billy’s opinion because he casts major shows for a living, but I’m not sure what in the world I did that was so flirtatious?  What was it about my read that came off that way? Was it my facial expressions, my voice, I don’t know?  The worse part about it though is that I didn’t ask and I should have. How dumb of me!

Now my second read of the night was a co-host copy.  Overall Billy said I did good and that my co-host and I were having fun with it.  However, he thought we were too rehearsed and he said he could tell that we have a lot more personality that we could be putting out there, but weren’t….all great critiques in my opinion.

By the way, Billy said he never saw my eyebrows move.

Become A Host Bootcamp: Marki Costello meets Pinky Tuscadero

Hello all!  I don’t want anyone to think that I have forgotten about my blog, it’s just been a very busy Easter Weekend with the family, that’s all.  I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend though.  I had a great one, but I’m just extremely tired and ate way too much!  I have been busting my butt at the gym and I feel like I need to go for 3 hours tomorrow just to burn off tonight’s Easter dinner, but who am I kidding, I can’t go to the gym for 3 hours, I’m a mommy to a 15 month old!  Hopefully, I can get in at least an hour tomorrow.

I have no choice, but to go to the gym.  I want to get back on television and have you seen all of these skinny bitches (I’m just kidding about them being bitches, I’ve just always wanted to use that phrase “skinny bitches”)?  Anyhow, it’s an extremely competitive industry and I want to be able to compete.   Therefore, I’m trying to prepare myself for the career I want in so many ways, working out in the gym is just one small element to it all.  How does that expression go?  “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”  Yes, I’m pretty sure that’s the quote…. and I have been preparing my career for a long time and I hope opportunity is right around the corner.

One way I am trying to continue my preparation, so that I can continue to pursue this on-air career of mine is by training in TV Hosting classes.  I took an excellent TV Hosting Bootcamp with Marki Costello who is an extremely well-respected Casting Director and Manager in Hollywood.  This woman knows her shit and she scared the shit out of me at bootcamp as well.  The thing is she’s actually very cool and funny too, but she has an intimidating presence about her and since I have not been on TV for over 2 years and have been in “mommy-mode” practically that whole time, I felt extremely rusty and frightened! (Yes, me frightened!)   I was challenged throughout that entire weekend.

At the end of our bootcamp weekend when Marki called me into the room to read my final copies on camera in front of the green screen, so that she could do my written evaluation, Marki said, “Hey Pinky Tuscadero come in.”  I thought Pinky Tuscadero was from ‘Grease,’ but she is actually from ‘Happy Days,’ but I digress.  Anyhow, she called me ‘Pinky’ because I was wearing a pink, somewhat 50’s style looking dress, and she did not know my actual name, so that’s what she came up with.  All I could think was, “Geeze she hates me,” however, there were probably 40 people in our bootcamp class, so she couldn’t learn everyone’s name in one short weekend, but I was bummed because I had hoped I could stand out so that she would know my name, but I didn’t stand-out because I let my insecurity of not being on-air for so long get the best of me.  This was my fault, not Marki’s.  When I went in for my evaluation, I knew I had to give a strong read if I wanted to be invited to join her on-going classes (yes they are by invitation only).  So I dropped my insecurities at the door and went in and gave the best read I could and you know what, it wasn’t bad. As a matter of fact, it was actually pretty good and it was the first time Marki complimented me throughout the entire weekend.  I was very excited about that and now I will be starting her beginning on-going classes and I am so appreciative to Marki for this amazing opportunity.

Now I can really keep working on honing my on-air skills, and it will be so invaluable to put this on my resume and to also network with big names in the industry.  So hopefully this preparation, meeting this opportunity will bring me the luck I’ve been needing.

So now my next goal is for Marki to learn my name.   I start class tomorrow on Monday, wish me luck!  🙂